Hormones Really Suck!

Sometimes being a woman really sucks! I'm blaming it all on the depo. Which by the way, as long as the Essure worked this time, I won't need anymore depo shots. I'll drink to that! If you don't know what Essure is I'll try to explain. Basically they take a skinny little coil and plug your fallopian tubes with it. After a few months the tube closes around it and then no more babies. The first time I had it done I lived in a tiny little town where they ended up closing down the hospitals birthing center. My doctor did my procedure literally about a week before he left town for another job. Since I no longer had a doctor I never went back in for the test to make sure everything was sealed up. Everything was perfectly fine for almost two years so I figured it was safe to assume the baby factory was closed. Then Josh and I got together for the first time since we were kids. Now let me remind you that I already had three kids at that point and Josh had three kids too. The weekend before my birthday, Josh's Mom asked if I could have any more kids and we told her no. Well according to my due date and Baby Centers conception calculator, I got pregnant on my birthday! The hospital told me that it was going to be an ectopic pregnancy, We were both crushed. Yes it was extremely bad timing but we really wanted to have a baby together. We just didn't plan it that soon. Two days later I went to the doctors for a follow up and he assured me that everything was perfectly fine and he dubbed her our miracle baby.

Now that my little miracle is almost seven months old and is the youngest of seven children, I find myself getting very emotional over the tiniest little things, especially Riley getting bigger. I know that I don't need any more kids, we've got our hands full as it is. But just knowing that she's the last baby I'm ever going to have is kind of sad. Pretty much all I've ever done is raise kids. I don't really know anything else. Now I know I still have quite a few more years where my kids need me but the day will come when they are all older and they won't need as much from me. I should be thrilled by that thought but instead it kind of scares me. What do I do with my life when they don't need me as much? I keep saying that I need to find something  to do with myself now so that down the road I have something for me. Something that makes me feel useful and productive. And something that helps take some of the financial burden off of Josh.

Ok, enough rambling for now. I haven't accomplished much this week and there's a pile of dirty laundry waiting for me.

Here we go again.....

 

I still can't believe I'm pregnant with baby number 4!!! If any of you have ever had the Essure Procedure done, run to your doctor's office and have them make sure you're still sealed up tight! Don't get me wrong. Now that the shock is starting to fade I'm just as happy as I was all the other times, this time was just a bit of a surprise!

What would really be nice though is if all this damn "morning" sickness and complete exhaustion would just go away. I for one, think I deserve at least one pregnancy without months of unrelenting nausea and headaches. But nope, it's just not meant to be I guess. So I will suffer, in not quite silence, and let my friends, who are so wonderfully awesome, continue to pamper help me.

I will admit though that I can't walk into a store without somehow ending up in the baby aisle. Not on purpose of course! And I have to continuously fight the urge to start buying baby things. I keep telling myself I should put this off until I actually find out what I'm having. But I can't help the urge to think of baby names. It doesn't matter though because I will change my mind at least a dozen times before the baby is actually born.

One really cool thing though, no matter if it's a boy or a girl (leaning towards a girl), I have one friend with a 3 month old little boy and another with a 2 month old little girl. So either way, I'm so covered on hand-me-downs!

Have any of you had any unexpected little bundles of joy?

I peed on a stick.....

I figured that title would get your attention! So almost two years ago, after having Miss Holly, I had a procedure done called Essure. It's basically where they take these little springs, plug your fallopian tubes and it grows around it and locks out any little swimmers. Two years with no problems. I'm sealed up tighter then Alcatraz right? Evidently not! I kept telling my friend D to remind me that it was just stress that was causing me to be a week late, moody and irrational and so unbelievably tired. The good friend she is, she assured me. The better friend she is, she offered to go get me a pregnancy test to calm me down. The most awesome friend she is, she sat with me while waiting for the little hour glass to stop blinking on the pee stick. It didn't even take the full three minutes! My response. "Holy f***ing sh**!!!" That was repeated quite a few times I believe.

Now with that Essure thing I knew it was dangerous to be pregnant because it causes a high risk for an ectopic pregnancy. So they next day some friends took me out to the emergency room to get checked out. After about six hours of mostly waiting, they tell me that it is most likely ectopic. I'm in tears and these people suck at answering questions. All they really tell me is that they can't see anything even with an ultra sound. I had to explain to each person I dealt with what Essure was even! And they call themselves doctors! So they refer me to an ob/gyn and say I have to make an appointment within 24-48 hours to have more blood work done so that my hormone levels can be checked.

First thing the next morning I call to make the appointment and they fit me in the next day. At this point I am waiting for blood work to come back and for my next checkup and ultra sound next week. So far I haven't had any pain or spotting. It's just felt like a normal pregnancy. So hopefully I will be getting good news soon. Wish me luck!