Potty Training Woes

Ok, I'm looking for some input here. Potty training. Holly is driving me crazy. She's 3 years old, she pees in the potty just fine, usually has a dry pull up after nap time and occasionally even in the mornings after bedtime. Staying dry isn't much of an issue. But pooping in the potty? Oh that's a whole other story! She's done it a few times, but only a few. She'll refuse to eat and say that her belly hurts so we tell her to go potty, that she has to poop. Turn on the nearly hysterical crying! She absolutely hates to poop in the potty. We've tried the potty seat and the cushiony one that goes on the big potty. Neither one works for her. We praise her tremendously when she does manage it hoping that the positive reinforcement will help. It doesn't. She can sit there for hours and it doesn't make a difference. But 5 minutes after she gets that pull up on and goes to bed she's coming out of her room telling me she's pooped. It's got to be one of the most frustrating feelings in the world! Putting her in time out doesn't work, talking to her doesn't work, praising her doesn't work. We've tried both sitting with her and giving her privacy. She held it for 5 days one time, until I finally gave her some of the baby prune apple juice. She went like 5 or 6 times in a 48 hour period. I don't know what to do. She knows she needs to poop and she knows where she needs to do it at. My oldest daughter did this too. Potty trained perfectly by the time she turned 2, except for pooping in the potty. We had to resort to giving her children's laxatives. The whole process was traumatic for her and for me. I don't want to go through that this time. Does anybody have any advice here? Is it possible that she's just not ready for that part of potty training or is my 3 year old just a stubborn control freak?

Am I really crazy?

Writing...blogging...what's that? I don't remember anymore! I use to make time every single day to write. It helped me keep what precious little was left of my sanity. Now I'm so busy that the only time I can even think of something to write about is when I lay down to go to sleep and can't stop my brain from running in circles. Maybe I'm just crazy....hmm what are the signs of craziness?

• having 7 children...check
• having a household consisting of 9-11 people...check
• yelling at my phone and/or laptop when people are being stupid and pissing me off while everybody in my house just stands there and laughs at me...check
• staying up till 1am just to have a little piece and quiet without the kids, knowing full well that the baby will wake me up as soon as I start to fall asleep...check
• trying to find different things to make for dinner even though I know somebody in the bunch will most likely refuse to eat it...check
• putting two 5 year olds and a 3 year old in the same room at bedtime and actually expecting them to go to sleep...check
• actually expecting a reasonable answer from the same two 5 year olds as to why they thought it was ok to jump off their sister's bed to touch the ceiling fan...check
• walking into a room and having absolutely no idea why the hell I just walked in there...check
• asking what happened when one or both of the 5 year olds are crying. I actually no longer care...check
• expecting my hubby to be, Josh, to actually pay attention to what I'm saying to him when he's playing video games or watching tv...check
• then expecting him to know what he did wrong...check 

I'm starting to see a pattern here...I'm not crazy, I'm just a mom! lol

Sleeping Beauty or Zombie Food?

This was actually written about a month ago, well the first part was, but I've been too busy to post it.

There's nights that my precious little baby absolutely drives me nuts and on those nights, in between dealing with her and her constant need to use me as a binky, I have bad dreams. This happened to me about two nights ago. I spent the whole night in and out of nightmares about zombies. This could also be in response to having withdrawals of The Walking Dead which really needs to start again. But anyways back to the point. It's safe to say I had a very unpleasant night. So when I woke up the next morning to Riley screaming at me, the first thought I had was "Next time I'm letting the zombie eat you!" Now in the event of a zombie apocalypse I'd never really let them eat any of my children but I'm sure you can understand the sentiment!

Other nights, like last night, I find myself up in the wee morning hours to nurse Riley and I find myself just stroking her cheek in amazement at this sweet little miracle nestled in my arms. And I get great satisfaction in knowing that I'm the only one who can have this intimate connection with her and provide her with the perfect nourishment. I had such a difficult time for various reasons when it came to nursing my other children that I'm very reluctant to give it up. Originally I said I'd stop at six months. She turned six months last week. Then I said that I'd stop either when that first tooth came in, she turned a year old, or she could "help herself". Well, if I'm wearing a spaghetti strap shirt she does try to get things going on her own! Maybe she's watched too much Walking Dead herself since she's always trying to eat me... I guess that's another post.

Then we switch back to Riley being zombie food. Her allergies give her so much trouble. No matter what I do my poor baby can hardly breath. On nights like that, which happens to be tonight, after listening to her scream all day long because she can't get comfortable enough to sleep, and not letting me out of her sight long enough to even pee, by the time I attempt to put her to bed I'm about all out of patience. I know it's not her fault that she's acting like a life sucking demon but a person can only take so much without losing their sanity! Crap, I think the other kids already took that! Some days I think they have special meetings, including the baby, where they discuss new ways of making mommy lose it! See, I can't even stay on subject!

Well before my sweet little zombie bait wakes back up, I better go take a shower. I have a feeling it's going to me a long night! Sweet dreams...

Wicked Stepmother?

Have you ever stopped to think about the way fairy tales portray stepmothers? They're always wicked and want to kill their stepchildren. Cinderella's stepmother used her as a slave. Snow White's stepmother wanted her heart cut out. And Hansel and Gretel's wanted them lost in the woods. I happen to be a stepmother, well almost but that's another post, to three children and even on bad days I've never wanted to kill them or lose them in the woods. Or the desert in our case since we do live in Arizona. Yes there's days they get on my nerves but no more than my biological children do.

Lately disciplining them, especially the 14 and 13 year olds has been difficult. I feel like I'm in a very precarious spot. I'm not their birth mother and I'm not even married to their father yet. The 14 year old, Alexis lives with us and the 13 year old, Anthony is here on weekends. I don't want them to resent me but especially since I'm a stay at home mom, the bulk of the disciplining in our house falls to me.

They're both pretty good kids. Alexis has taken to me right from the get go. We're really close. There's not much if anything that she doesn't tell me. Half the time I know who she's dating even before her friends do. She's such a good kid that my biggest complaint with her is slacking on doing the dishes. She does them, but most of the time they're still dirty. She gets mostly good grades, doesn't give me a lot of attitude, helps with her younger siblings, keeps me informed about where she's at and who she's with. So when I get mad at her over the slacking on her chore, I feel a bit like a wicked witch for having to get on to her about it. We were talking about this a few nights ago and she blew my mind. Her response to it all was that at least I was doing what a mom should do. Wow! She doesn't mind when I have to get onto her because I'm doing my job as a mother and she's being treated just like my other kids.

Then Anthony, who happens to be a very big mama's boy, did something over the weekend I don't remember now exactly what, that I had to correct him for. I figured he'd be kind of pissed at me. But a few minutes later he said that when his mom isn't around he'd kind of like to call me mom. Double wow! I was almost speechless. Alexis has been calling me mom for close to a year now but I never expected that from him. It really made me feel like I must be doing something right as a mother.

Weekend Catch Up...

Thank freaking goodness for the second trimester of pregnancy!!!!! I was starting to think I would never again feel even close to human again. The evil "morning" sickness is over, unless I'm hungry of course, and the headaches are bearable. I'm still tired but not nearly as much as before. I don't think I've taken a nap in like 4 or 5 days! And I've been able to make meals for dinner without the smells making me want to hurl. I'm so excited! I'm pretty sure the rest of the household is too! lol.

So Friday was a crazy day! J had to work for a few hours in the morning so D and I decided that at nap time, she and I would go get hair cuts. Miss Teeny is old enough to babysit. So I text J and told him what we were doing but he said he was almost done at work and needed a hair cut too. So we said ok, we'd wait for him and all of us would go. While waiting for him S showed up and it was decided she would tag along with us. J was way late of course plus still needed a shower. Finally we all left. Didn't have time for hair cuts at this point cause I had a 1:45 doctors appointment. So we all went to the park instead. Then all 8 of us went to my appointment. Miss Teeny and Jordyn got to go back with me this time and see the ultrasound. Baby is doing perfect. Then we went to get lunch cause I was starving. Think they all were too! lol. Afterwards, finally off to get our haircuts. D's took forever! lol. Her hair is so thick plus she does layers, I don't. Then we split up sending all kids home with D, S's boyfriend came to get her, and J and I headed off to pick up the boys for the weekend. Run back home, drop us off, then J had like a 45 minute drive to pick up his other "daughter" Tilly for the weekend. I'm at home getting things ready for later that night. D gave Hunter and Holly a much needed late nap and I fed A and Mr. Man. By the time J and Tilly got back we had everything ready, then it was off to Nitro Jams. Drag racing! So we are standing by the car getting everything organized, and all of a sudden my leg hurts bad! Takes a minute then we realize Mr. Man and Hunter are trying to play with some big black ants. Two of them had quickly made their way up my pant legs! I'm reaching all the way down my pants  picking up ants and throwing them on the ground! So I end up sitting in J's car, taking my shoes and pants off, checking for more ants! Not fun!!! My legs freaking hurt!!!! So, get everything all settled and off to the races. Walked around for a bit looking at cars and stuff then found us a great seat where we could all fit plus the double and umbrella strollers. Things were going great. The first car got ready, then had an oil spill. It took like an hour to get that cleaned up! We walked around, ate snacks I had packed, cause I'm awesome like that, and waited, and waited....Eventually we were hungry and me, J, D, Mr. Man and Holly went in search of food. Other than kettle corn, way too expensive! I came up with just eating that plus the two bags of popcorn I brought and eating afterwards. So that's what we did, The races finally got started. We had to cover Holly's ears each time but other than that everybody did great. My legs had stopped hurting but I later discovered this was only because of the cold. Once I got warm again, they hurt again. We ended up leaving before it was completely done but we saw most of it. It was almost midnight when we left. So we grabbed some family packs at taco bell and headed home. The little kids hardly ate then crashed. I ate 3 soft tacos. I was hungry. About 1amthe adults finally got to crash. Then poor J, he had to be at work the next morning by like 7:15.  Most of the kids slept til like 10:30 this morning! WOW! Yesterday really was a crazy ass day! lol. Now after writing and rereading all of that, I think it's time for a snack and maybe a nap! lol. 

 

At Nitro Jam. There were 10 of us and that's how many balloons we ended up with too. 8 of them attatched to the two strollers!

 

Posing with the Black Pearl! Arg.....

 

Shockwave...wow was he loud and bad ass! lol

Hormones and other rants

My hormones must be off the freaking chart!!!! So far I think this might actually be my most difficult pregnancy. I'm tired constantly, can't hardly stand the smell of anything, especially food. I feel like crying but can't. Feel like screaming, but again can't. I feel depressed, mad, sad and confused. Half the time I don't know what the hell I'm doing or feeling. Between this emotional roller coaster, nausea and migraines, I have no motivation to do anything besides the bare necessities. And that just depresses me even more.

I'm even starting to really really miss the small town in Ohio that I just moved away from. I've wanted to come back to Tucson for so many years now, but now that I'm here, I just don't know. I hate the schools and there's too much crime. My daughter's elementary school was put on lock down last week cause the was a shooting in the area! They didn't even call the parents. Just sent home notes at the end of the day. And Jordyn hates this school. She can't stand her teacher, and the kids are all so bad that the whole class loses their recess on a regular basis. Every time I've sent a note to her teacher about something, she never responds. Her work hardly ever gets sent home, and I haven't seen one of her spelling test since she started there. This just doesn't work for me. I need to be kept informed on what is going on with my child at school. We didn't have any of these problems at her old school. The staff was amazing, the kids were friendly, and Jordyn thrived there. I really really don't want to homeschool her but I'm seriously considering it!

And I really need to find something I can do from home to make money. I don't want to give up the benefits of staying home with my kids while they're young, but I need to make money. Hubby who I'm separated from, is no help financially, and even though I take care of the house and all of the kids, I still just feel too dependant on others. I need something to give me some sense of Independence. But there's so many work at home scams out there, that I'm not sure how to go about finding something legit. Does anybody have any advice?

Kreativ Blogger Award

I just got a huge and very exciting surprise today! Life has been so crazy lately that I've been really slacking on blogging, both writing and reading other amazing bloggers. So imagine my surprise when I wandered over to Cinnamon's blog to play catch up and see that she passed an award on to me! Totally made my day! Cinnamon is amazingly awesome but now that's just been tripled!

Here's the rules:

1. Thank & link back to the person who gave you the award,

2. Answer the form questions below.

3. Share ten random facts / thoughts about yourself.

4. Nominate (at least) 7 other blogs for the Kreativ Blogger Award.

So a HUGE Thank You to a smart, funny, wonderful, unforgettable person and fellow blogger Cinnamon from Cinnamon's Spicy Life. If you haven't checked her out yet, then you're definitely missing out!

Now for the questions:

Favorite song: There's no way I can pick one song! I love music and a lot of it just depends on the mood I'm in. I love songs where you can feel the music and that tells a story. Bob Segar's Turn the Page is a favorite cause I love the saxophone in the beginning. Nickleback's Far Away is high on my list too. It's a perfect love song. My playlist bounce around a lot if you can't tell! lol

Favorite dessert: Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. And cheesecake! Although since I'm prego right now anything can be considered a dessert depending on my mood.

What ticks me off: Lying, dishonesty, rudeness, disrespect.

When I'm upset: I'm not very good at hiding my feelings and your best bet is to just leave me alone until I'm ready to talk.

Favorite pet: At the moment we have a very sweet 4 year old red nosed pit. He's great with the kids and ever since I got pregnant he's been stuck to me like an extra shadow.

Black or white: When it comes to clothes, black. It usually matches everything and it helps hide extra weight. With furniture though I'd say neither. They both show dirt or dust too badly.

Biggest fear: Spiders! I don't care how little or big they are! They are creepy nasty looking freaky creatures! I shudder to think about them even! UGH!

Everyday attitude: Usually I try to start each day out on a positive note but that's kinda difficult lately because every single day I'm battling bad headaches and nausea and intense fatigue. I can't wait until this part of pregnancy is over so I can feel normal again. I know my family can't wait either! lol

What is perfection: It doesn't exist. The closest you can get to perfection is just doing your best in everything you do. Honestly, I think perfection would be boring too. The little "mistakes" or quirks are part of what makes life interesting.

My guilty pleasure: There's a drawer in the fridge that the kids aren't allowed in. It's mostly filled with chocolate!!!

Here's the ten random facts about me:

1. I'm addicted to crime shows like Bones, Law and Order: SVU, and NCIS. I just love them!

2. I'm completely dreading cleaning and doing laundry today.

3. I am already thinking about baby names and I don't even know what I'm having yet, though I'm praying for a girl. I don't think I can handle another one of these crazy boys!

4. I would love to write a book but I'm too scared to fail that I haven't even really begun.

5. I love when my babies climb in bed with me to snuggle and watch tv.

6. I can't stand to cook meat right now cause the smell nauseates me. Although I am marinating steaks right now in Italian dressing. Hopefully I can cook it!

7. I love to read but I can't hardly stay awake long enough to even read a page lately.

8. I'd like to have my own business I just don't know what I want to do.

9. I've been having really crazy vivid dreams every night. I just can't really remember them in the morning.

10. I could have swore I felt a baby flutter the other night but I know it's too early for that. More like wishful thinking.

Ok, time to pass it on!

1. Heather at Mommy Only Has 2 Hands. She is so awesome! She just had a baby not too long ago and she still finds time to work on her wonderful blog. Plus her blog hops are some of my favorites.

2. Chantelle at Life Un-Airbrushed. She has a very straight forward, honest way of writing and looking at life. She's deep and insightful yet light and funny at the same time.

3. Danielle at Secrets of a Sweet Southern Girl. Formerly Scandal in the Choir Loft, this sweetly scandalous blogger host some of the best writing contest and has the most entertaining interviews with other bloggers.

4. Maria at Tough Cookie Mommy. She has some really awesome giveaways and reviews and also host another one of my favorite blog hops, Monday Mingle.

5. Boobies, Babies, & A Blog   is by far one of my very favorite blogs. She is hilarious and honest! A great combination. I love her giveaways, especially the KY ones, and her reviews are wonderful. I especially love her post SH#T The Boss Says! about the things her son tells her.

6. I can't leave out Mama Kat over at Mama's Losin' it. You can't pass out an award for creativity without including her. Her writing prompts are truly wonderful and inspiring!

7. Allison at Twingle Mommy. This blog is a new one for me but I'm already in bloggy love! She has three adorable little girls, she takes beautiful pics, and has wonderful ideas for decorating her girls' room and for birthday parties! You've gotta check her out!

1 year of blogging

Wow, I just realized that February 19th marked my one year of blogging! Can I just say WOW again! My aunt, who also started blogging around that time, is the one who got me into it. And I am so very grateful for that. There have been many many days that either writing on here or reading other mom's blogs have saved my sanity! I love the blogging community and the sense of knowing I'm not in this alone. We all have our moments when kids or spouses drive us crazy, or complete strangers manage to piss us off, or best friends touch our hearts. All of these everyday things that happen in our lives, blogging gives us a chance to share that.

I know that a lot of bloggers host a big giveaway or something for their blog anniversaries, and I would love to, but I really don't have anything to give away other than my appreciation. Thank you to everybody who has supported my blog, either by reading it, following me, or giving me advice. I couldn't have come this far without you. And I hope to continue foreward with my writing.

I thought I'd end with sharing some links to a few of my favorite blogs. I'm just sorry that I can't list them all. I also thought I'd through in a few links to some of my earlier blog post.

Again, thank you everybody. I hope to make it another year!

A few of my favorite blogs:

Cinnamon's Spicy Life 

Lady Goo Goo Gaga

Life Un-Airbrushed

Motherhood, WTF?

From Mrs. to Mama

A few of my first posts:

Diaper Disaster

Facebook and Texting

Things you never thought you would say to your child

The cleaning fairies must be on strike! 

A giant bunny or a man in a costume 

Here we go again.....

 

I still can't believe I'm pregnant with baby number 4!!! If any of you have ever had the Essure Procedure done, run to your doctor's office and have them make sure you're still sealed up tight! Don't get me wrong. Now that the shock is starting to fade I'm just as happy as I was all the other times, this time was just a bit of a surprise!

What would really be nice though is if all this damn "morning" sickness and complete exhaustion would just go away. I for one, think I deserve at least one pregnancy without months of unrelenting nausea and headaches. But nope, it's just not meant to be I guess. So I will suffer, in not quite silence, and let my friends, who are so wonderfully awesome, continue to pamper help me.

I will admit though that I can't walk into a store without somehow ending up in the baby aisle. Not on purpose of course! And I have to continuously fight the urge to start buying baby things. I keep telling myself I should put this off until I actually find out what I'm having. But I can't help the urge to think of baby names. It doesn't matter though because I will change my mind at least a dozen times before the baby is actually born.

One really cool thing though, no matter if it's a boy or a girl (leaning towards a girl), I have one friend with a 3 month old little boy and another with a 2 month old little girl. So either way, I'm so covered on hand-me-downs!

Have any of you had any unexpected little bundles of joy?

I peed on a stick.....

I figured that title would get your attention! So almost two years ago, after having Miss Holly, I had a procedure done called Essure. It's basically where they take these little springs, plug your fallopian tubes and it grows around it and locks out any little swimmers. Two years with no problems. I'm sealed up tighter then Alcatraz right? Evidently not! I kept telling my friend D to remind me that it was just stress that was causing me to be a week late, moody and irrational and so unbelievably tired. The good friend she is, she assured me. The better friend she is, she offered to go get me a pregnancy test to calm me down. The most awesome friend she is, she sat with me while waiting for the little hour glass to stop blinking on the pee stick. It didn't even take the full three minutes! My response. "Holy f***ing sh**!!!" That was repeated quite a few times I believe.

Now with that Essure thing I knew it was dangerous to be pregnant because it causes a high risk for an ectopic pregnancy. So they next day some friends took me out to the emergency room to get checked out. After about six hours of mostly waiting, they tell me that it is most likely ectopic. I'm in tears and these people suck at answering questions. All they really tell me is that they can't see anything even with an ultra sound. I had to explain to each person I dealt with what Essure was even! And they call themselves doctors! So they refer me to an ob/gyn and say I have to make an appointment within 24-48 hours to have more blood work done so that my hormone levels can be checked.

First thing the next morning I call to make the appointment and they fit me in the next day. At this point I am waiting for blood work to come back and for my next checkup and ultra sound next week. So far I haven't had any pain or spotting. It's just felt like a normal pregnancy. So hopefully I will be getting good news soon. Wish me luck!