Saturday, March 30, 2013

Am I really crazy?

Writing...blogging...what's that? I don't remember anymore! I use to make time every single day to write. It helped me keep what precious little was left of my sanity. Now I'm so busy that the only time I can even think of something to write about is when I lay down to go to sleep and can't stop my brain from running in circles. Maybe I'm just crazy....hmm what are the signs of craziness?

  • having 7 children...check
  • having a household consisting of 9-11 people...check
  • yelling at my phone and/or laptop when people are being stupid and pissing me off while everybody in my house just stands there and laughs at me...check
  • staying up till 1am just to have a little piece and quiet without the kids, knowing full well that the baby will wake me up as soon as I start to fall asleep...check
  • trying to find different things to make for dinner even though I know somebody in the bunch will most likely refuse to eat it...check
  • putting two 5 year olds and a 3 year old in the same room at bedtime and actually expecting them to go to sleep...check
  • actually expecting a reasonable answer from the same two 5 year olds as to why they thought it was ok to jump off their sister's bed to touch the ceiling fan...check
  • walking into a room and having absolutely no idea why the hell I just walked in there...check
  • asking what happened when one or both of the 5 year olds are crying. I actually no longer care...check
  • expecting my hubby to be, Josh, to actually pay attention to what I'm saying to him when he's playing video games or watching tv...check
  • then expecting him to know what he did wrong...check 

I'm starting to see a pattern here...I'm not crazy, I'm just a mom! lol

Monday, March 25, 2013

Sleeping Beauty or Zombie Food?

This was actually written about a month ago, well the first part was, but I've been too busy to post it.

There's nights that my precious little baby absolutely drives me nuts and on those nights, in between dealing with her and her constant need to use me as a binky, I have bad dreams. This happened to me about two nights ago. I spent the whole night in and out of nightmares about zombies. This could also be in response to having withdrawals of The Walking Dead which really needs to start again. But anyways back to the point. It's safe to say I had a very unpleasant night. So when I woke up the next morning to Riley screaming at me, the first thought I had was "Next time I'm letting the zombie eat you!" Now in the event of a zombie apocalypse I'd never really let them eat any of my children but I'm sure you can understand the sentiment!

Other nights, like last night, I find myself up in the wee morning hours to nurse Riley and I find myself just stroking her cheek in amazement at this sweet little miracle nestled in my arms. And I get great satisfaction in knowing that I'm the only one who can have this intimate connection with her and provide her with the perfect nourishment. I had such a difficult time for various reasons when it came to nursing my other children that I'm very reluctant to give it up. Originally I said I'd stop at six months. She turned six months last week. Then I said that I'd stop either when that first tooth came in, she turned a year old, or she could "help herself". Well, if I'm wearing a spaghetti strap shirt she does try to get things going on her own! Maybe she's watched too much Walking Dead herself since she's always trying to eat me... I guess that's another post.

Then we switch back to Riley being zombie food. Her allergies give her so much trouble. No matter what I do my poor baby can hardly breath. On nights like that, which happens to be tonight, after listening to her scream all day long because she can't get comfortable enough to sleep, and not letting me out of her sight long enough to even pee, by the time I attempt to put her to bed I'm about all out of patience. I know it's not her fault that she's acting like a life sucking demon but a person can only take so much without losing their sanity! Crap, I think the other kids already took that! Some days I think they have special meetings, including the baby, where they discuss new ways of making mommy lose it! See, I can't even stay on subject!

Well before my sweet little zombie bait wakes back up, I better go take a shower. I have a feeling it's going to me a long night! Sweet dreams...

Wicked Stepmother?

Have you ever stopped to think about the way fairy tales portray stepmothers? They're always wicked and want to kill their stepchildren. Cinderella's stepmother used her as a slave. Snow White's stepmother wanted her heart cut out. And Hansel and Gretel's wanted them lost in the woods. I happen to be a stepmother, well almost but that's another post, to three children and even on bad days I've never wanted to kill them or lose them in the woods. Or the desert in our case since we do live in Arizona. Yes there's days they get on my nerves but no more than my biological children do.

Lately disciplining them, especially the 14 and 13 year olds has been difficult. I feel like I'm in a very precarious spot. I'm not their birth mother and I'm not even married to their father yet. The 14 year old, Alexis lives with us and the 13 year old, Anthony is here on weekends. I don't want them to resent me but especially since I'm a stay at home mom, the bulk of the disciplining in our house falls to me.

They're both pretty good kids. Alexis has taken to me right from the get go. We're really close. There's not much if anything that she doesn't tell me. Half the time I know who she's dating even before her friends do. She's such a good kid that my biggest complaint with her is slacking on doing the dishes. She does them, but most of the time they're still dirty. She gets mostly good grades, doesn't give me a lot of attitude, helps with her younger siblings, keeps me informed about where she's at and who she's with. So when I get mad at her over the slacking on her chore, I feel a bit like a wicked witch for having to get on to her about it. We were talking about this a few nights ago and she blew my mind. Her response to it all was that at least I was doing what a mom should do. Wow! She doesn't mind when I have to get onto her because I'm doing my job as a mother and she's being treated just like my other kids.

Then Anthony, who happens to be a very big mama's boy, did something over the weekend I don't remember now exactly what, that I had to correct him for. I figured he'd be kind of pissed at me. But a few minutes later he said that when his mom isn't around he'd kind of like to call me mom. Double wow! I was almost speechless. Alexis has been calling me mom for close to a year now but I never expected that from him. It really made me feel like I must be doing something right as a mother.