This was actually written about a month ago, well the first part was, but I've been too busy to post it.
There's nights that my precious little baby absolutely drives me nuts and on those nights, in between dealing with her and her constant need to use me as a binky, I have bad dreams. This happened to me about two nights ago. I spent the whole night in and out of nightmares about zombies. This could also be in response to having withdrawals of The Walking Dead which really needs to start again. But anyways back to the point. It's safe to say I had a very unpleasant night. So when I woke up the next morning to Riley screaming at me, the first thought I had was "Next time I'm letting the zombie eat you!" Now in the event of a zombie apocalypse I'd never really let them eat any of my children but I'm sure you can understand the sentiment!
Other nights, like last night, I find myself up in the wee morning hours to nurse Riley and I find myself just stroking her cheek in amazement at this sweet little miracle nestled in my arms. And I get great satisfaction in knowing that I'm the only one who can have this intimate connection with her and provide her with the perfect nourishment. I had such a difficult time for various reasons when it came to nursing my other children that I'm very reluctant to give it up. Originally I said I'd stop at six months. She turned six months last week. Then I said that I'd stop either when that first tooth came in, she turned a year old, or she could "help herself". Well, if I'm wearing a spaghetti strap shirt she does try to get things going on her own! Maybe she's watched too much Walking Dead herself since she's always trying to eat me... I guess that's another post.
Then we switch back to Riley being zombie food. Her allergies give her so much trouble. No matter what I do my poor baby can hardly breath. On nights like that, which happens to be tonight, after listening to her scream all day long because she can't get comfortable enough to sleep, and not letting me out of her sight long enough to even pee, by the time I attempt to put her to bed I'm about all out of patience. I know it's not her fault that she's acting like a life sucking demon but a person can only take so much without losing their sanity! Crap, I think the other kids already took that! Some days I think they have special meetings, including the baby, where they discuss new ways of making mommy lose it! See, I can't even stay on subject!
Well before my sweet little zombie bait wakes back up, I better go take a shower. I have a feeling it's going to me a long night! Sweet dreams...