Monday, November 25, 2013

Funny Things My Kids Say

My kids are hilarious, sometimes inappropriately so. Here's a few examples...

Holly who is three years old to her five year old brother. "Stop acting like a fucking cry baby"

Hunter about his one year old sister. "I don't want to go to school today. It's not fair that Riley gets to stay home and we don't."

Jordyn, who is 10, to her Aunt Dani, who is old, while at the bus stop last week. Seeing a bus turn the corner, "There's our bus. No that's not our bus." A short preschool bus pulls up and when the door opens, it's their usual driver. Jordyn burst out with "Are we being punished?"

Jordyn and her Aunt Dani were watching an episode of Melissa & Joey last night and condoms were mentioned. So Jordyn of course asked what that was. Poor Dani doesn't know what to do and tells her to ask again in a couple years and that it's grown up stuff. Jordyn however just will not let it go so I'm getting frantic text from Dani asking what she should do. I told her to tell her honestly that it's something grownups use when they have sex so that they don't get a disease or pregnant. Jordyn's response, "I shouldn't have asked! Ewwww!" She then promised not to ask again when she was told it's a grown up thing. lol

Holly while getting ready for school one morning, "This sock is stupid!" Then tries to put her jeans on over her pajama pants. Not a morning person!

As far as my 15 year old, Lexi, my fingers would get tired of typing cause she just cracks me up!

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Total Melt down

This Mommy needs a time out today! My 5 year old son and I both had a total melt down. Here's the scoop. He misses his Dad that he hasn't seen in almost two years. They've talked on the phone maybe twice in the last three months. It's ok that he loves and misses his Dad, but what isn't ok is the way he's been treating everybody because of it. He's been a total cry baby and jerk for weeks on end. Everything ends in a screaming crying fit. He tells his sisters that he hates them and they aren't his sisters anymore. He doesn't listen. He loses focus in school. Did I mention that he cries over every single little thing. I lost it today. I told him that he's being a jerk. That I understand he misses his Dad but that the way he's been treating all of us is not ok. I told him how everybody here loves him so much and we do everything we can to make sure he's happy and has everything he needs. I told him that when he acts this way nobody likes spending time with him, the other kids don't like to play with him. I reminded him that his Dad hardly ever calls and that in two years he hasn't sent him a single birthday or Christmas present. I told him that his Dad and I can't live together anymore because we argue too much but that no matter what its ok to love and miss him. I don't know who cried harder, Hunter or me. It hurts me to know that my child is hurting and there's nothing I can do to fix it but at the same time it also feels like a slap in the face. I'm just at a total loss as to how to handle all of this. Anyways, that's the end of my rant for the day. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Is he really ready?

I am way too impressionable sometimes and I doubt my decisions too easily. This is no body's fault but my own and something I struggle with daily. Today's self doubt. My five year old being ready for kindergarten. I'm not ready for this big step just because it means my baby boy is growing up too fast. He on the other hand is totally excited and says he's ready. And he really is smart. He knows his ABC's, can count pretty far, knows his shapes and colors. He's inquisitive about everything and retains information amazingly well. He's constantly telling me random facts about animals and things. He's wonderful at teaching his three year old sister. He's sweet and compassionate. Has an extensive vocabulary and honestly understands the words he's using. The only points that concern me are that I never really let him on the computer, he's very sensitive and cries easily, and he still has issues with sharing. Although the last is mostly just with his siblings. He does pretty well when friends come over to play. My daughter Jordyn didn't start until she was six but that was in another state. Where can you reliably research the standards for the state you live in? When do you stop researching?  How do you know when your child is ready for something? And how much information do you listen to from others? When is the right time to believe in your own judgement?

Monday, June 24, 2013

I'm scared of my own kids!

the ring movie photo: Ring - movie contest ring2.jpg
Why must my daughters constantly creep me out?! In Jordyn's defense only one time really jumps out at me. She was maybe two years old and my Aunt Leslie, Uncle Sarge and I had just finished watching the movie The Ring. Do you remember the little girl in that? Samara. Recall how she never slept and had long dark straight hair? Jordyn also had long dark semi straight hair and the child never freaking slept! So Jordyn and her cousins Shaye and Bruce are in the back of the house playing in the family room, Sarge is in one recliner and I'm sitting on the floor clinging to leaning against the other recliner where Leslie is sitting. Throughout the entire movie we kept cracking jokes about Jordyn being a baby Samara. Eventually the movie is over and I'm just sitting there spacing a bit, when baby Samara, I mean Jordyn, slowly and silently walks up next to me and just stands there. She doesn't move or say a word. I turned, probably to say something to Leslie and about jumped out of my skin to see Jordyn standing there looking at me. Omg I have still never lived down getting the crap scared out of me by my own child!

Now I have three year old Holly who likes to quietly creep walk down the dark hallway to the end of the couch where I like to sit, and stand there quietly until I notice her. She does this repeatedly for at least an hour just about every night. It's always to claim she has to go potty. I might believe her if she didn't have to walk past the bathroom to get to where I am. These girls are going to give me a damn heart attack!

Friday, June 21, 2013

I need sleep!!!!!

Alright people, I'm seriously about to lose my mind! What's the problem you ask? My nine month old demon baby Riley! Oh don't get me wrong, she's adorable as hell and sweet and lovable as can be. At least during daylight hours. At night, when the rest of the house is peacefully slumbering she turns into a milk guzzling, use Mommy as a binky, screaming demon. I can actually time her, every two hours. At her age there's really no reason for her to be waking up this often. She use to sleep anywhere from four to six hours straight but evidently she has a twisted sense of humor. I don't know what to do. I've tried making sure her belly is full before putting her to bed, we have a bedtime routine, and I've even tried giving her a bottle of formula before I go to bed. Nothing works, she's still up in two hours. I considered that it might be teething cause she shows the signs of that so I gave her teething tablets. It didn't help. I really don't think she's that hungry all night. Either she's just really spoiled or she needs extra closeness and snuggling at night. But even that doesn't make sense. I'm with her all the time. Even the brief times that I am away from her, her routine stays the same. There haven't been any major changes in her life that would make her insecure. I'm at the end of my rope. And I'm a little worried about her safety because eventually Hunter and Holly are going to realize that Mommy's grouchiness is their baby sister's fault!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Who's afraid of the boobies...

I don't know if it's just because I'm breast feeding or if it's the strange company I keep, but we have a lot of conversations involving my boobs. Here's a facebook conversation that took place today, and no it was not in a private message either! It started with my status update this morning...

I am so tired of being woken up every 2 hours....

B: hey wake up

Me: no I don't wanna.... 

B: to F'ing bad i'm hungry mom 

Me: the boobies are out of order. 

B: bull shit tell daddy to get off them i need them 

Me: lmao he's afraid of them still! 

B:  lol 

Me: are you afraid of boobies B? lol 

B: no fear here 

Me: lol if they were filled with milk you would be. Or are you the kind that would just grab a pack of oreos and call it snack time? lol 

B: lol no i would grab some homemade chocolate cookies and go to town 

Me: lmao Riley might share her milk if you share your cookies! 

B: lol 

Now since all he had to say was "lol" in my mind I won!

Do you need a time out?

I was having a really bad morning today, I'll explain that in another post though, and Miss Riley decided that it was a good idea to scream all morning. Not actual crying, more like little bursts of piercing noise that makes your ears ring. After repeatedly telling her No, Sir (refresher on who this is on my About Me page) decided to put her in time out. Now let me remind you, Riley is 8 months old. She was in her walker, smacking the tray to make her snacks fly in every direction and carrying on with her new found voice, when Sir pipes up with "Riley Jean, do you need to go in time out?" Her response, Smack, scream, giggle. So he gets up, picks her up while still in her walker, takes her to the time out corner, stands there for a second like he's thinking "Shit, she can still move." And proceeds to stick shoes under the walker and against the wheels to keep it in place. Then he puts up the baby mattress that we use to block the hallway so she can't crawl off to her siblings room, yes we are truly that ghetto. She just happily sat there babbling away and laughing at him over the mattress! I don't know if this is one of those times where it's funnier if you were there, but I know I sure laughed my ass off.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Exorcist Baby!

Well the last week or so has been interesting. Miss Riley has been teething. Last Tuesday we had a cookout and she was perfectly fine. Wednesday morning I'm sitting in bed nursing her, she finishes eating, smiles sweetly, and then proceeds to give the meal back to me! Then she had the nerve to giggle! Now I sleep in just a bra and panties, TMI, I know. And I hadn't gotten around to getting dressed yet since it was still early. So imagine sitting cross legged with a baby on your lap. Now imagine the places that regurgitated breast milk went! Ewww right? She was so damn cute though that all I could do was laugh a little, sit her down and grab a towel. She laughed at me the whole time I cleaned up and changed. That child has a twisted sense of humor! Long story short, she puked for 24 hours, chewed on anything she could reach, threw up on my bed once more, switched to the "other" end for a couple days, and basically lived off of goldfish crackers and Kix cereal for a week. She's finally just starting to eat other foods and now only has occasional diaper explosions. Most of which I try to pawn off on Daddy or Aunt Dani! HaHa!!!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Boobs or no Boobs, that is the question

Riley is eight months old and I still breastfeed her. She enjoys it, I enjoy it, it's good for her and it's free. Lately Josh has kind of been pushing me to give it up. He won't flat out admit that's what he's doing but the little comments are enough. This really bothers me. I know he probably just misses my boobs, and I'll admit I miss the attention in that region, but to me it's not worth giving up yet. It's not like I plan on nursing her until she's eighteen. First tooth or one year, which ever comes first, is her cut off date. I've been slowly weening her. I offer her juice or actual food before nursing her so that she's not as hungry. And honestly, I really don't want to get up and make a bottle in the middle of the night when I can easily just pop a boob in her mouth.

Yeah it's a bit of an inconvenience sometimes when we are out in public. Not that it's difficult to keep the goods covered, it's more of trying to keep my belly and back from hanging out. If you're desperate enough to check out my boobs while there's a kid attached to them, that's on you, but God forbid you see my belly!

Not to mention, it means a lot to me that I've been able to stick with it this long. Each of the three kids before her didn't last this long nursing. With Jordyn, I only made it a week. I got really bad blood blisters with her. Hunter, lasted two months. His mouth was so little I had to use a nipple shield to help him latch on, then we moved in with my in-laws and he didn't appreciate having a blanket over his head during meals. And with Holly, I was hooked to a breast pump for the first six months of her life cause every time I put a boob in her mouth she fell asleep. Riley though took to breastfeeding like a pro. And she's my last baby so why not make the most of it.

And my kids understand that breastfeeding is a natural thing. It's actually what they were made for. Although if you ask my Grandma she says boobs are just there to make your shirts look good. It's not unusual to hear Hunter, who is five, tell me "Mommy, I think Riley needs to nurse." Or for three year old Holly to announce, sometimes while in public, "Mommy, baby sister needs to eat your booby." They understand that when a Mommy has a baby their boobs make special milk for the baby that's full of vitamins to help them get big and strong. If my young children can understand this concept, why can't a grown man? Just saying...

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I don't wanna be top dog anymore....

My kids will bypass anybody in our household to get to me, whether they are crying, asking for something, have some little tid bit to share or have already been told no by another adult. No where is safe. Doesn't matter if I'm going pee, in the shower, trying to get something done, or asleep, all I hear is "I want Mommy!" There can be three different adults standing between me and a child, and they will attempt to pass by each of them even while being told no. Evidently, I'm top dog in our house. Sometimes I use this to my advantage like this, other times, I don't wanna be in charge.

I have many examples of this but here's the one that happened today. There's four adults in our house, yes we're out numbered but we're still bigger than them. But that's besides the point. Josh had fallen asleep on the couch, Sir fell asleep on the other end of the couch, and I fell asleep on Riley's blanket on the floor. No judging, I had a huge headache. Dani was in her room with the door wide open. I had just barely dosed off when I got woken up by Jordyn. I don't even know what she was saying other than that she was tattling on Hunter and/or Holly. Here's our conversation.

Me: Jordyn am I the only adult in this house?!
Jordyn:  No, but Sir gets grumpy if I wake him up.
Me: I was talking about Dani! She's awake!
Jordyn: Oh, Ok.

And she skips away.

If this is what it's like being top dog, I don't wanna be anymore...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Leaning tower of laundry

This is what's left over from yesterday,
not counting what is in the basket off to the
side, or counting what's in the
laundry room!

I know it's only Tuesday, but I don't feel like I've accomplished a single thing all week. Although, since weekends are more work than actual breaks, I don't know where one week ends and another begins. I have mounds of clean clothes in my room that need put away. I hate putting clothes away. Not so much mine, Josh's and Riley's, but Hunter and Holly's clothes suck. They just don't have enough room. They share a dresser and putting stuff on hangers limits them in being able to pick out their own outfits. Plus Miss Riley shares our room and she doesn't like to let me get anything done. In the morning it's coffee and computer time for me, play time for her. Then naps and lunch, for the kids not me. I can't be in my room then or Riley won't sleep. Even if I'm quiet it's like she senses me in the room. After they wake up it's snack time then back to playing. I can't put her in her crib to play cause that just pisses her off after she just spent two hours in there sleeping and if I put her on my floor I might never find her again. Yes, I know one less kid might sound like a bonus but I'm kind of attached to her. So I'm stuck running back and forth between the living room where she's playing to mine and the kids room trying to get this never ending laundry put away. It can take days this way to get it done and by then I've washed more clothes and added to the mess. It's a never ending cycle of craziness! Where are those damn cleaning fairies when you really need them?

Monday, May 20, 2013

No tattling

We have a lot of kids in our house, ok more than a lot. Some days I can't even count them all or keep their names straight. Anyways, because of how many there are, there is a lot of tattling! Enough that if you actually listened to it all, you would want to bash your head against a brick wall. Don't give me that look, I know you've been there too!

Hunter took my toy! Holly hit me! Aiden is hanging from the rod in the closet! Anthony choked me! Alexis won't talk to me! Jordyn won't shut up! Holly said I'm a jerk! Hunter said he hates me! Aiden said he's not my friend anymore! Holly and Aiden played in the dog poop! Is your brain starting to melt yet? Yeah mine too!

So now every time one of them comes to tattle I repeat the same thing.

  • Dead
  • Dying
  • Bleeding
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhea
  • Bones protruding 
  • Or siblings resorting to cannibalism

Unless it falls into one of those categories, shake it off, you'll be fine. I bet I'm going to be getting that Mommy of the Year award soon after this post! :)

Just hand over the coffee...

My household has caused me to take mommy brain to a whole new level. They have stolen my brain and passed it around amongst themselves.They've dropped it, thrown it, kicked it and just generally had a good ole' time with it. You remember those sticky hands your kids get out of the quarter machine that you find stuck to everything from the TV, to the carpet to the ceiling? You know how they get all nasty after hours of fun and abuse? That's how my brain was when my children finally gave it back to me. So at the end of the day, they have nobody but themselves to blame when I finally let out the crazy!

I start out most days normal, calm and sane. Usually after a night of broken sleep courtesy of my 7 month old, teething daughter, Riley. I've trained Hunter, 5 years old, and Holly, 3 years old, to play with their baby sister while I go pee and go to the kitchen to get them some breakfast and start the coffee pot. Mom of the year that I am, I usually start the coffee first. Then comes the ritual of telling Holly to get her panties and some pants on and hoping that she woke up with a dry pullup. Then telling her to try again cause her panties are sideways and her pants are on backwards. And trying to keep them from yelling or screaming too loudly and waking up grumpy uncle Sir, (I'll explain the name later) who is asleep in his room on the couch, at least until the coffee gets done. Hopefully the rest of the morning is calm and uneventful. On good days they don't even tattle on each other without asking me if I drank my coffee yet. Smart little cookies aren't they? On the average day I spend the morning telling Holly to stop running through the house, reminding Hunter it's nice to share the toys and occasionally pretending like I didn't see Holly hit her brother and call him a jerk after he again snatches a toy away from her. Luckily Riley is usually pretty good during this time, army crawling across the living room floor searching for any food that fell off her walker during her morning snack that I missed cleaning up. You're envious aren't you...

Friday, May 17, 2013

Thank goodness it was only my boobs!

Have you ever seen the post on facebook that says everybody has that one friend who makes all your other friends question your sexuality? For me that would be Kristina. I got the most random text from her the other day.

Kristina: How crazy are you?
Send me a pic of your boobs.

Me: lol Why?

Kristina: Cause I want it?

Me: lol Bra or no bra?

Kristina: No bra...

Me: Ok, hang on.

So I went into the bathroom and took a picture of my boobs! After I sent it and asked her what the purpose of that was, her response was "It's Wednesday, it's hump day!"

Now on to the main part of the story. Last night Josh and I had to go to an awards banquet with Lexi, our 14 year old, at her high school. Even though I was very proud of her for being presented with an award I really didn't want to go. It was semi formal, ugh, I am not the dress up kind of girl. But I love the pain in the butt teen so I sucked it up and got about as dressed up as I'm gonna get. So we're sitting there bored as hell but trying to act like we aren't when Lexi asked for my phone so she can show off pictures of her baby sister, Riley. Now her and I are very open an honest with each other so I had already told her about the text between Kristina and I. I reminded her when I handed her my phone NOT to scroll through my photo gallery. Evidently, she didn't tell her friend that...her male friend! All of a sudden I hear Lexi burst out laughing and I look up to see this boy, eyes as wide as saucers, hand clasped over his mouth, looking at me! All I could do in between embarrassed laughter was say "You scrolled didn't you?" I'm thankful for three things.

1. My face was not in the picture
2. It was only my boobs and not any other areas of my body
3. That boy was flaming gay!

Moral of the story. Don't hand teenagers your phone if you have anything that can be used against you as blackmail.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Really? Seriously?

Is it seriously too much to ask for a shower? I'm not even talking about an uninterrupted shower. Just a shower.  Or for kids to go to sleep when they are put to bed instead of still being awake 3 hours later? Or for your baby to not act like a little leech for days after getting shots and refusing to let you put her down or walk out of her line of sight? Is it too much to ask for that same baby to stop teasing me by sleeping 6-8 hours straight for two nights in a row then suddenly changing her mind on the third night and going back to waking up every two hours to eat. Is it to much to ask for a certain teenager in my house, not mentioning any names or anything cause I'm sure you know who you are, to wash the dishes correctly the first time? (Yes, I still love you my little pain in the butt child. Yeah I know you read these. lol) And not to leave out your sister, is it too much to expect her to actually clean her part of the bedroom correctly, knowing that I'm going to check and most likely make her do it again? Is it unreasonable to expect my 3 year old to stop sneaking around the house early in the mornings like a little ninja baby getting into everything. And yes I know it's her cause she leaves evidence! Usually in the form of marker or makeup on her hands and face. I do have pictures to prove this and they've already been posted to facebook so she can't argue it wasn't her. Is it really that outlandish that money should grow on trees? Hell even if it did we live in the desert so what good would it do us here, we don't have real trees! Hmm, out of all of those complaints only one of them is really unreasonable. Ok, somebody give my kids the memo to straighten up! :)

Hormones Really Suck!

Sometimes being a woman really sucks! I'm blaming it all on the depo. Which by the way, as long as the Essure worked this time, I won't need anymore depo shots. I'll drink to that! If you don't know what Essure is I'll try to explain. Basically they take a skinny little coil and plug your fallopian tubes with it. After a few months the tube closes around it and then no more babies. The first time I had it done I lived in a tiny little town where they ended up closing down the hospitals birthing center. My doctor did my procedure literally about a week before he left town for another job. Since I no longer had a doctor I never went back in for the test to make sure everything was sealed up. Everything was perfectly fine for almost two years so I figured it was safe to assume the baby factory was closed. Then Josh and I got together for the first time since we were kids. Now let me remind you that I already had three kids at that point and Josh had three kids too. The weekend before my birthday, Josh's Mom asked if I could have any more kids and we told her no. Well according to my due date and Baby Centers conception calculator, I got pregnant on my birthday! The hospital told me that it was going to be an ectopic pregnancy, We were both crushed. Yes it was extremely bad timing but we really wanted to have a baby together. We just didn't plan it that soon. Two days later I went to the doctors for a follow up and he assured me that everything was perfectly fine and he dubbed her our miracle baby.

Now that my little miracle is almost seven months old and is the youngest of seven children, I find myself getting very emotional over the tiniest little things, especially Riley getting bigger. I know that I don't need any more kids, we've got our hands full as it is. But just knowing that she's the last baby I'm ever going to have is kind of sad. Pretty much all I've ever done is raise kids. I don't really know anything else. Now I know I still have quite a few more years where my kids need me but the day will come when they are all older and they won't need as much from me. I should be thrilled by that thought but instead it kind of scares me. What do I do with my life when they don't need me as much? I keep saying that I need to find something  to do with myself now so that down the road I have something for me. Something that makes me feel useful and productive. And something that helps take some of the financial burden off of Josh.

Ok, enough rambling for now. I haven't accomplished much this week and there's a pile of dirty laundry waiting for me.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Potty Training Woes

Ok, I'm looking for some input here. Potty training. Holly is driving me crazy. She's 3 years old, she pees in the potty just fine, usually has a dry pull up after nap time and occasionally even in the mornings after bedtime. Staying dry isn't much of an issue. But pooping in the potty? Oh that's a whole other story! She's done it a few times, but only a few. She'll refuse to eat and say that her belly hurts so we tell her to go potty, that she has to poop. Turn on the nearly hysterical crying! She absolutely hates to poop in the potty. We've tried the potty seat and the cushiony one that goes on the big potty. Neither one works for her. We praise her tremendously when she does manage it hoping that the positive reinforcement will help. It doesn't. She can sit there for hours and it doesn't make a difference. But 5 minutes after she gets that pull up on and goes to bed she's coming out of her room telling me she's pooped. It's got to be one of the most frustrating feelings in the world! Putting her in time out doesn't work, talking to her doesn't work, praising her doesn't work. We've tried both sitting with her and giving her privacy. She held it for 5 days one time, until I finally gave her some of the baby prune apple juice. She went like 5 or 6 times in a 48 hour period. I don't know what to do. She knows she needs to poop and she knows where she needs to do it at. My oldest daughter did this too. Potty trained perfectly by the time she turned 2, except for pooping in the potty. We had to resort to giving her children's laxatives. The whole process was traumatic for her and for me. I don't want to go through that this time. Does anybody have any advice here? Is it possible that she's just not ready for that part of potty training or is my 3 year old just a stubborn control freak?

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Am I really crazy?

Writing...blogging...what's that? I don't remember anymore! I use to make time every single day to write. It helped me keep what precious little was left of my sanity. Now I'm so busy that the only time I can even think of something to write about is when I lay down to go to sleep and can't stop my brain from running in circles. Maybe I'm just crazy....hmm what are the signs of craziness?

  • having 7 children...check
  • having a household consisting of 9-11 people...check
  • yelling at my phone and/or laptop when people are being stupid and pissing me off while everybody in my house just stands there and laughs at me...check
  • staying up till 1am just to have a little piece and quiet without the kids, knowing full well that the baby will wake me up as soon as I start to fall asleep...check
  • trying to find different things to make for dinner even though I know somebody in the bunch will most likely refuse to eat it...check
  • putting two 5 year olds and a 3 year old in the same room at bedtime and actually expecting them to go to sleep...check
  • actually expecting a reasonable answer from the same two 5 year olds as to why they thought it was ok to jump off their sister's bed to touch the ceiling fan...check
  • walking into a room and having absolutely no idea why the hell I just walked in there...check
  • asking what happened when one or both of the 5 year olds are crying. I actually no longer care...check
  • expecting my hubby to be, Josh, to actually pay attention to what I'm saying to him when he's playing video games or watching tv...check
  • then expecting him to know what he did wrong...check 

I'm starting to see a pattern here...I'm not crazy, I'm just a mom! lol

Monday, March 25, 2013

Sleeping Beauty or Zombie Food?

This was actually written about a month ago, well the first part was, but I've been too busy to post it.

There's nights that my precious little baby absolutely drives me nuts and on those nights, in between dealing with her and her constant need to use me as a binky, I have bad dreams. This happened to me about two nights ago. I spent the whole night in and out of nightmares about zombies. This could also be in response to having withdrawals of The Walking Dead which really needs to start again. But anyways back to the point. It's safe to say I had a very unpleasant night. So when I woke up the next morning to Riley screaming at me, the first thought I had was "Next time I'm letting the zombie eat you!" Now in the event of a zombie apocalypse I'd never really let them eat any of my children but I'm sure you can understand the sentiment!

Other nights, like last night, I find myself up in the wee morning hours to nurse Riley and I find myself just stroking her cheek in amazement at this sweet little miracle nestled in my arms. And I get great satisfaction in knowing that I'm the only one who can have this intimate connection with her and provide her with the perfect nourishment. I had such a difficult time for various reasons when it came to nursing my other children that I'm very reluctant to give it up. Originally I said I'd stop at six months. She turned six months last week. Then I said that I'd stop either when that first tooth came in, she turned a year old, or she could "help herself". Well, if I'm wearing a spaghetti strap shirt she does try to get things going on her own! Maybe she's watched too much Walking Dead herself since she's always trying to eat me... I guess that's another post.

Then we switch back to Riley being zombie food. Her allergies give her so much trouble. No matter what I do my poor baby can hardly breath. On nights like that, which happens to be tonight, after listening to her scream all day long because she can't get comfortable enough to sleep, and not letting me out of her sight long enough to even pee, by the time I attempt to put her to bed I'm about all out of patience. I know it's not her fault that she's acting like a life sucking demon but a person can only take so much without losing their sanity! Crap, I think the other kids already took that! Some days I think they have special meetings, including the baby, where they discuss new ways of making mommy lose it! See, I can't even stay on subject!

Well before my sweet little zombie bait wakes back up, I better go take a shower. I have a feeling it's going to me a long night! Sweet dreams...

Wicked Stepmother?

Have you ever stopped to think about the way fairy tales portray stepmothers? They're always wicked and want to kill their stepchildren. Cinderella's stepmother used her as a slave. Snow White's stepmother wanted her heart cut out. And Hansel and Gretel's wanted them lost in the woods. I happen to be a stepmother, well almost but that's another post, to three children and even on bad days I've never wanted to kill them or lose them in the woods. Or the desert in our case since we do live in Arizona. Yes there's days they get on my nerves but no more than my biological children do.

Lately disciplining them, especially the 14 and 13 year olds has been difficult. I feel like I'm in a very precarious spot. I'm not their birth mother and I'm not even married to their father yet. The 14 year old, Alexis lives with us and the 13 year old, Anthony is here on weekends. I don't want them to resent me but especially since I'm a stay at home mom, the bulk of the disciplining in our house falls to me.

They're both pretty good kids. Alexis has taken to me right from the get go. We're really close. There's not much if anything that she doesn't tell me. Half the time I know who she's dating even before her friends do. She's such a good kid that my biggest complaint with her is slacking on doing the dishes. She does them, but most of the time they're still dirty. She gets mostly good grades, doesn't give me a lot of attitude, helps with her younger siblings, keeps me informed about where she's at and who she's with. So when I get mad at her over the slacking on her chore, I feel a bit like a wicked witch for having to get on to her about it. We were talking about this a few nights ago and she blew my mind. Her response to it all was that at least I was doing what a mom should do. Wow! She doesn't mind when I have to get onto her because I'm doing my job as a mother and she's being treated just like my other kids.

Then Anthony, who happens to be a very big mama's boy, did something over the weekend I don't remember now exactly what, that I had to correct him for. I figured he'd be kind of pissed at me. But a few minutes later he said that when his mom isn't around he'd kind of like to call me mom. Double wow! I was almost speechless. Alexis has been calling me mom for close to a year now but I never expected that from him. It really made me feel like I must be doing something right as a mother.