Have you ever stopped to think about the way fairy tales portray stepmothers? They're always wicked and want to kill their stepchildren. Cinderella's stepmother used her as a slave. Snow White's stepmother wanted her heart cut out. And Hansel and Gretel's wanted them lost in the woods. I happen to be a stepmother, well almost but that's another post, to three children and even on bad days I've never wanted to kill them or lose them in the woods. Or the desert in our case since we do live in Arizona. Yes there's days they get on my nerves but no more than my biological children do.
Lately disciplining them, especially the 14 and 13 year olds has been difficult. I feel like I'm in a very precarious spot. I'm not their birth mother and I'm not even married to their father yet. The 14 year old, Alexis lives with us and the 13 year old, Anthony is here on weekends. I don't want them to resent me but especially since I'm a stay at home mom, the bulk of the disciplining in our house falls to me.
They're both pretty good kids. Alexis has taken to me right from the get go. We're really close. There's not much if anything that she doesn't tell me. Half the time I know who she's dating even before her friends do. She's such a good kid that my biggest complaint with her is slacking on doing the dishes. She does them, but most of the time they're still dirty. She gets mostly good grades, doesn't give me a lot of attitude, helps with her younger siblings, keeps me informed about where she's at and who she's with. So when I get mad at her over the slacking on her chore, I feel a bit like a wicked witch for having to get on to her about it. We were talking about this a few nights ago and she blew my mind. Her response to it all was that at least I was doing what a mom should do. Wow! She doesn't mind when I have to get onto her because I'm doing my job as a mother and she's being treated just like my other kids.
Then Anthony, who happens to be a very big mama's boy, did something over the weekend I don't remember now exactly what, that I had to correct him for. I figured he'd be kind of pissed at me. But a few minutes later he said that when his mom isn't around he'd kind of like to call me mom. Double wow! I was almost speechless. Alexis has been calling me mom for close to a year now but I never expected that from him. It really made me feel like I must be doing something right as a mother.