Friday, March 25, 2011

Can men and women be just friends?

This is a question I've been thinking about for some time now, "Can men and women be just friends?" I asked my friends on Facebook this question last night. There doesn't seem to be any one right answer. Some said No, they can't, some feel that Yes, they can. But both seem to feel very strongly about their opinion. I keep thinking back to my friendships over the years. I have quite a few male friends, but the ones that I seem to be the closest to are the ones I have some sort of history with. Most of it is innocent history, boyfriends from high school but it's still history. Somehow it seems that the connection we shared then allows us to have a deeper connection now. Is this wrong? These boys from my youth are now men, some of them married, most of them have children. I've never been truly intimate with any of them. Is this what makes the difference? If I had ever been sexually involved with these friends, would we still be friends today?
But what about emotional intimacy? Since I have known these men since we were kids I'm able to talk to them on a deeper level. It's different then talking to my female friends. They give me a whole different perspective on things. Men and women see things so differently that it's nice to get an "inside" view on men. There's many times when a male friend has helped me work through a problem better than my female friends.
Another variable here is that my close male friends live in a different state. Would be still be able to maintain our "just friends" closeness if we lived closer to eachother? Is the physical distance what allows us to stay such good friends? I can't find any one right answer to this. It seems to all depend on the people involved and all the different variables.
Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory


  1. Yes. Men and Women can be friends. The variable differ. I think some men ruin it because usually they act on there emotions strongly on thinking of taking it farther instead of thinking through on what they have. This also reigns true for women also. No ones an exception to this rule. What it all boils down to is whether each sex realizes that they don't need to make someone who is a really close friend into a together thing. Yes it also has happened to work when some do but think about or talk to the other person before you act. Even having history with someone is tricky but like I said its all about controlling oneself. And again all sorts of different things are possible. But thinking and talking once again apply. Basically what I'm getting at. Is if they care about you truly care about you they will be your friend no matter what. Even if they try to make it more and get turned down. Friendship is not a thought its emotions and in your heart not your mind. Just like love it is complicated and has many trials but we all figure out what's good for us in the long run.

  2. I think they can be. Definitely. My best friend is a guy, and he gives me new perspective on everything. If I get in a fight with my boyfriend he can sometimes show me I'm being unreasonable or something. I mean, I'm always right, but still.