This was so much fun! I'm going to have to do this kind of post more often. Some of these are mine and some of them are borrowed. If you recognize your own Facebook post on here, thank you. Hope they make you giggle too.
filling out Jordyn's paperwork for her eye doctor appointment later. Under occupation, do you think I could put "pain in my ass"? lol
You know it's not a good sign when Hunter walks in the room and for no reason says "Mommy, me and Holly are being good."
This day has just started and if I hear my kids tattle on each other for some stupid little thing, one more damn time, I'M GOING TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many days duct tape would be my first choice, but I've had to learn to use restraint! lol
Well as much as I love my quiet time, I'm almost too tired to think. But don't worry, you won't have to miss me for long. I'll be back and refreshed in the morning! lmao. Good Night all! :)
You know, I've noticed that one half of my fb profile looks like a family reunion and the other half looks like a high school reunion! lol
What a lunch time dilemma, I had to choose between soup or a Reese's cup, sigh, I was good this time and picked the soup. But I have a date later with the Reese's! lol
One day, while going to the store, I passed by a retirement home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass.
I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same retirement home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn.
I went inside to talk to the Home Administrator.
'Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?'
'They're retired prostitutes, and they're having a yard sale
You know it's going to be a long day when you have to fight with the coffee maker and the coffee maker wins;/
This for MY WIFE>>>>JOIN FACEBOOK ANONYMOUS< YOU NEED HELP THE REST OF US OUR TIRED OF SUFFERING!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER< WE LOVE YOU>>>
needs some nighttime, sniffling ,sneezing, coughing ,aching, stuffy head ,fever.... I can't feel my lips and I think I just peed the bed medicine
I think Facebook slogan should be"Helping people stay connected when the restraining order doesn't include the Internet:)
In case of emergency, exits can be located at the log out, delete, deactivate, hide, and block features. Thank you for flying with Facebook
A woman needs
a man who protects her,
a man who never lies,
a man who spoils her
and she needs to keep these men
from finding out about each other
Had you running through my mind constantly...till I tripped your ass......
I really am quite normal. I swear! It's just the crazy little bitch inside me gets out to play a little too often.......now back to what i was doing I'm painting a blue square in the backyard, so google earth thinks I have a poo1!
Wife finds her husband up alone at night. She watches him wipe a tear from his eye. "What's the matter?" Husband says, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" The wife touched at him caring says "Yes, I do."You remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car and shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".I remember" she replies softly. He cries "I would have gotten out today!!" lol
i like to go up to random people at Wal-mart and say "oh hey i remember u, u were my friend in preschool...... its"hilarious to watch them play along
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95 and Divorced Barbie for $265.95. The amazed father asks:'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?' The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir.., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.
Some people are as big a disappointment as a vibrator with dead batteries.........
WELCOME TO FACEBOOK... The place where people add you as a friend & walk past you in the street. Where relationships are perfect, affairs are started, & liars believe they are telling the truth. Your enemies visit your profile the most, yet your friends & family block you, & even though you write what you are really thinking, someone always takes it the wrong way, & people think your status is about them...